Press Row

What Are Abbott Lines?
Let’s get this straight. Forty-Niner coach Mike Nolan is entitled to his reasons, is entitled to this charade of two quarterbacks competing for the starting job. He’s the boss, and the boss can create competition if that’s what makes him happy.

But it’s a phony competition because Alex Smith is a [...]

What Are Abbott Lines?
I remember Packer taking notes at one of those sessions, walking out late one night and saying essentially, “I’m not going to be guilty of this anymore.” And very quickly the language that so offended many of us was eliminated from his analysis. Not reduced, not lessened . . . gone. More [...]

What Are Abbott Lines?
After the legendary Boston Garden closed in 1995, auctioneers looking for salvageable memorabilia found highly valuable pieces in out-of-the-way places: An abandoned darkroom was inches deep in vintage photos of Hall of Famers, while the arena’s original blueprints were stashed in a wooden trunk near the roof. It seems safe to say [...]

What Are Abbott Lines?

So, in tribute to the Entire Internet’s Dedication to Cruelty, I give you the Chicago Tribune’s Fred Mitchell (above), who is here to compare the Cubs’ recent deal for Rich Harden to…the trade of Lou Brock for Ernie Broglio. Because this guy is also speedy, just like Lou Brock. Same/same, seen? [...]

What Are Abbott Lines?
So here’s what you do, Dolphins: You do what Green Bay isn’t doing. You welcome Favre back to football. You trade lame-duck Jason Taylor (whom the Packers have coveted) to get him. You put McCown up for sale. And then you let Beck and Henne develop for a year under the unhurried [...]

What Are Abbott Lines?
“The most illuminating thing about the book is the fact that, by and large, most football players can’t stand their fucking jobs. … There’s no job security unless you’re an All-Pro, and 99% of guys aren’t that. Most of the players can’t even figure out why they do it. They’re constantly being [...]

What Are Abbott Lines?
“Let’s say that Favre did actually approach Mike McCarthy about coming back and McCarthy (and the Packers) told him “We’re moving in another direction.” Does Brett Favre still have that “itch” then? If you watched yesterday’s NFL Live did you notice how quickly the conversation went from “Favre going back to the [...]

What Are Abbott Lines?
“Dallas Cowboys fans might want to wear comfortable shoes to the new stadium in Arlington. The team estimates that some ticket holders will walk nearly a mile from their parking spaces to the stadium, which opens next year. But Cowboys officials also said that shouldn’t be an adjustment because the back-row parking [...]

What Are Abbott Lines?
“’Daunte was a guy who always used his legs. He wasn’t an anticipatory thrower. He had to see the whites of their eyes. And once he got hurt, well, coming back from the injury, he couldn’t play that way.’ … ‘As a franchise quarterback, there’s the matter of the work ethic, putting [...]

On Friday, I’m planning to unveil one of the many parts of Press Row that I hope our (eventual) readers will enjoy: Abbott Lines.
What the heck are Abbott Lines? Well, it’s our own little take on news one-liners, influenced by TrueHoop’s Henry Abbott.
For those of you unfamiliar with Abbott or TrueHoop, it’s an NBA blog—formerly, [...]