Abbott Lines, 7/3 to 7/7 (morning)
“Let’s say that Favre did actually approach Mike McCarthy about coming back and McCarthy (and the Packers) told him “We’re moving in another direction.” Does Brett Favre still have that “itch” then? If you watched yesterday’s NFL Live did you notice how quickly the conversation went from “Favre going back to the Packers” to “Other teams who need a quarterback.” One of the teams that would make some sense for Brett to check into (and who ESPN has deemed a “likely” candiate) are the Minnesota Vikings . Even though Tarvaris Jackson has received the over-the-top accolades from head coach Brad Childress so far this year, the Vikings do have some other weapons that might benefit from having the ol’ gunslinger under center. …
“But — but!— if Favre goes to another team…what would happen to ESPN’s magical opening dedication and Favre jersey retirement ceremony during the Monday Night Football opener? Wouldn’t that ruin it? Not if he’s on the Vikings.” ~ Deadspin, Brett Favre: The Packers Really Don’t Want You To Come Back (But ESPN Does!), 7/3
***
“But then there are the violations that don’t serve this purpose or any other one. They’re called secondary violations, and they aren’t hurting anything but the image of the programs who try to do the right thing and report them.
“Take the most recent example of this lunacy, the South Carolina gamecocks. The first few words of this story makes it sound like South Carolina is a program run amok.
‘South Carolina’s athletic department reported nine NCAA secondary violations in the past six months …’
“That’s a big number. But then we learn just how bad these teams have been behaving.
‘…including one when a staffer bet dinner on a game not involving the Gamecocks. …The violation took place Jan. 22 and was considered the most serious one of those detailed in South Carolina’s report.’
“If that’s the case, why was a report necessary at all. Gambling is wrong if you work for a sports team, I get it. But this wasn’t exactly in Pete Rose territory (and I think he belongs in the Hall anyway).” ~ The Hungry Journalist, Some NCAA violations are rediculous, 7/4
***
“Belichick was fresh off his dumbass decision to cut starting QB and local folk-hero Bernie Kosar in favor of Todd Philcox. You all remember the great Todd Philcox, don’t you? They built a 50-foot statute in his honor in front of Severance Hall after he won his third league MVP award. Just kidding, he was a fucking bum.
“Anyway, after Neil O’Donnell led the Steelers to a come from behind win, Belichick was in no mood for post-game pleasantries. He even goes as far as to leave Greg Lloyd hanging. What a class act.
“Fast-forward fourteen years, Belichick has long since shed his image of a losing philanderer with the manners of pillaging Visigoth. Now he’s known far and wide as a choking philanderer with the manners of a pillaging Visigoth. Enjoy.” ~ Kissing Suzy Kolber, SNUB! Belichick post-game dickery didn’t start in New England, 7/5 (follow link for an excellent video)
***
Non-football
“Calling all fans of the Mariners, Nats, Padres… Are you in need of a competitive team to root for? Maybe one that isn’t too trendy or crowded (Cubs)? How about one that doesn’t have recent titles or an empty stadium for the World Series (Marlins)? You’re in luck! What’s not to like about the Rays? A team full of young talent and rising stars, the Rays seem to have imitated the Marlins’ business model, and it’s paying off. Crawford and Kazmir are established top-tier players. Longoria and Upton have tremendous All-Star potential, and veterans like Pena and Cliff Floyd keep things in perspective. Plus everyone already hates the Yankees and Red Sox, what better way to stick it to them than to join the Rays bandwagon? In addition, the Rays’ payroll is under $50 million. Too bad the Sox and Yankees’ money aren’t leading to victories.” ~ East Coast Bias, Rays Sweep Sox, Bandwagon Rolling, 7/3
***
“Gaining access and entering Madonna’s giant, cavernous, 67 year old airplane hangar of a snatch may end up costing A-Rod more than half of his accumulated fortune if his wife Cynthia decides to files for divorce. I certainly didn’t need any further inspiration to avoid any type of nuptials, but this should just about eliminate the sliver of hope that some jezebel will come and sweep me off my feet in hope of becoming Mrs. Bars. No devil woman is going to hijack half off the cash I pull down from these banner ads that adorn this site. Seriously? More than half? I’m not saying she isn’t entitled to a substantial settlement, I mean if a guy’s going to go around saying stupid shit like ‘I do’ without signing a prenup, he deserves some punishment. But for a judge to say that she’s worth more to that relationship than ARod is utterly godfucking ridiculous. What? Was she getting up at 5am every morning of the offseason, grabbing the Fungo, and hitting him grounders? Absurd.” ~ Harvey Bars, Tirico Suave, Cynthia Rodriguez Is Going To Get Paid, 7/5
***
“See how easy that was Skip? You’re honest, you know the topic, and you showed some passion about a Sport you love. All kidding aside, I couldn’t have said it better myself and the line about Bud Selig was spot on. You just can’t have the figurehead of your Sport bad mouthing it like this.”
~ Awful Announcing, Skip Bayless Lays Into Buck After Baseball Comments, 7/6
***
“Let’s add to our official Beijing Media Panic Checklist:
- Torch problems everywhere
- Lack of quality cheerleaders (okay, that’s just on our list)
- Oppressive rules and regulations
- Special care for “special” people
- Pollution
- Earthquakes
- Algae that eats pollution
- And now locusts are massing to invade Beijing in time for the Opening Ceremonies.
Really? Locusts? Good thing there will be evangelicals on-site to help with the impending frog invasion.” ~ Deadspin, China Works Down Plagues List Before Olympics, 7/6
***
“I think that’s part of Griffin’s appeal: He just seems like a regular guy, and yet now he’s won back-to-back fights against maybe the two toughest fighters in the weight class, Rampage Jackson and Shogun Rua. So maybe he’s not just a dude.” ~ Michael David Smith, AOL Fanhouse, UFC 86, Forrest Griffin: ‘Every Other Champion but Me Is Pretty Terrifying. I’m Just a Dude.’, 7/6
Got any good lines from your favorite writer or blog—or maybe your own? Send them over.
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